All of us have been through a crazy last few years, the pandemic, demonetization, multiple wars and other uncertainties… all impacting our lives and teaching us lessons. It was tough but it passed …
But, life’s most profound lessons often come from the most unexpected places. Recently, my family and I were hit with a loss that was immensely heartbreaking. Our 5-year-old Labrador, Daenerys, passed away. She wasn’t ill, weak, or old. A sudden, vicious illness took her from perfect health to gone in just 48 hours. The shock was paralyzing. It’s been three weeks, and our family is still grieving.
Three days after she passed, I was standing in front of an audience, about to start a session. On autopilot, I began my standard introduction: “I am Sonica Aron, I have 2 kids, 1 dog, 2 cats, and 1 husband.” But this time, after I said my name, my throat constricted. The next words stuck, a painful lump of reality. I could no longer say “I have 1 dog.” The grief was a physical force.
At that moment, I had a choice: to freeze, to break down, or to push on. I walked over to a bottle of water, took a deliberate sip, and made a silent promise to myself for a quiet moment of pampering later. I finished the introduction, and the session, drawing strength from a simple decision: I will not let the fall define my stance.
That evening, I crystallized what these experiences have been trying to teach me:
- There is no running away or escaping from difficult emotions. It is best to acknowledge, feel and face them.
- One day at a time. Sometimes, one hour at a time is all you can manage. And that’s enough.
- Do your best each day, and then try a little more. Your best looks different on different days. Honour that.
- Acknowledge every emotion. This is the most crucial step. It’s where you listen to yourself and offer yourself the kindness you would extend to a dear friend.
- Speak to people who truly matter. In the three weeks after Daenerys passed, I called old friends from college, a confidante from my early career, a team member on sabbatical. These weren’t networking calls. They were calls for human connection, for the balm of a familiar voice that makes you smile through tears.
- And Lastly Time is the best healer. It doesn’t erase, but it softens the edges of the pain. This too shall pass.
Life will continue to throw challenges our way. That is its nature. But we have absolute control over our response. We can choose to show up, even with a broken heart. We can choose to find one thing to be grateful for each day. We can choose to be kind to ourselves.
So, to all my friends and connections out there struggling with a layoff, a toxic work environment, financial trouble, or a personal loss: please hang in there. Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge the fall. But then, take that one small step. Just show up. This too shall pass!