Blog

On a recent trip to Krabi, Thailand, I made a new friend. She is from Krabi, and works as a Manager at a popular beach side restaurant. When I first met her, I noticed her charm, buoyancy and the way she communicated with guests and staff. I reached out and requested her to join me for a breakfast meeting so that I could understand more about her and her life. And she was kind enough to agree.

What was so special about her, you would wonder. Apart from being an effective manager and host, Olivia (Name changed) is actually a man.

She opened up about her life, her challenges and her dreams at breakfast the next day. She was 4 years old, when she first started behaving like a girl and started showing signs of being a transgender. In a country where the term “lady boy” is so openly used, I was surprised to know that there are civil employment restrictions and marriage restrictions. Olivia’s father, out of concern for her future, was angry, and tried to stop her from being what she was.

At the age of 12, she was sent with other boys to study religion for three years, where she had to dress and behave like a boy. She was mocked, but she endured.

When she returned, she asserted her sexual identity, and this time her father relented- on two conditions- 1. Study 2. She will not undergo change of gender surgery. She agreed to both.

Olivia went to the university in Phuket to study management. She started taking hormones to help her live the life she wanted.

She got into a relationship. It was illegal for her to marry a man, but with blessings from both families they had a live in relationship. In her own words, “I did everything like a wife would do- clean, cook, take care of his mother”. One day, he abruptly tells her to leave, because now, he wants a family.

Olivia was sad, and she struggled with her emotions. But she had the support of her family and friends, and she had her dreams. Her dream is to work hard, excel in her profession, buy land and have her own home.’

And having met her, seen her at her workplace, and having spoken to her, I know she can.

I am sharing this episode, because meeting her, spending time with her touched me. It made me realize that there might be so many Olivia’s in India, around the world, who struggle to assert their sexual identities, to have resources to study, to find employment, to find dignity, to have relationships and live a normal life. And what can we do, as a society to help them feel supported, respected and integrated?

Author: Sonica Aron

You can also read the article here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/meeting-krabi-sonica-aron/

While interacting with managers across different levels across different organizations, I am often faced with this question- what’s all the fuss on gender diversity all about? Why do we “need” to drive gender diversity? What are the benefits? What’s in it for me?

These questions are not asked directly, but the skepticism or the cynicism is there. Often it comes out in the form of push backs-

• This is a top down/ global target…. It’s been put in my KRAs
• It’s a quota system
• There are practical issues….those setting these targets don’t get it
• All these policies, sessions etc….does it not prove that women are being given preferential treatment? It seems now we men need reservation….

And somewhere, the lack of buy in is counter-productive to every measure being taken in this area.

So in this write up, decided to put down my thoughts on why we need to focus on gender diversity, not just as an organization, but as a society, as a family, as an individual. And this one is right out of my life, from the heart.

I would like to take the case of Neeru, my female chauffeur. Working in a profession considered a male bastion. She is contributing towards the well being of her family, working hard towards giving her children an education that she could not get, at the same time fulfilling some of her lifestyle aspirations. She proudly showed me a newly acquired android phone recently. Her husband supports her in every way he can. Drops her for duty on days she has to report early to work, helps with grocery shopping and so on.

Are there security issues that arise while she is on duty? Yes, they do. She is trained in martial arts and as an employer, we need to make sure that in case she is going back late, she has safe transport. Comes at additional cost? Sure!

Huge benefits for me, her and society at large

• The realization for my 10 year old son, when he first heard the phrase- “Neeru didi- Driver didi” – Girls can do everything that boys can. In an age where kids still get bombarded with gender stereotyping cues (tennis classes for boys and ballet for girls), I often felt that my just saying it was not enough. Demonstration did it. Priceless!
• She provides an adherence of ethic that none of my previous drivers did. Right from getting duty register signed to accounting till the last paisa on parking slips.
• From disbelief to amazement to adoption, I have family and friends wanting to know how they can hire female chauffeurs too. More employment opportunities, more jobs
• The trickle effect, other girls in her locality are signing up for driving lessons, yearning for financial independence and respectable work.
• Change in social standing of these families, better future for children, Financial trickle effect, impact on overall economy.

Everyone gained here. This is in a job where the biases and nays would be among the loudest.

Organisations are a reflection of the society we live in. They are not stand-alone units existing in isolation. We as people take our stereotypes, mindsets and barriers to the organisation where we work. It just needs one nudge or one act to break the barrier. Explore ways of including diversity and explore the benefits for yourself!

Author: Sonica Aron

You can also read the article here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/getting-roi-gender-diversity-enabling-investment-future-sonica-aron/

There is something fundamentally wrong in the way ’Gender Diversity’ is being defined.

The other day, I interviewed a young, driven HR manager from a fairly well known organisation. In our discussion on diversity, she proudly showcased change in ratios of women recruited from campuses. These were an outcome of a pure ‘number focus’ … She may well have been from the sales team with the month end being the campus day zero!

Let’s look at how ‘Gender Diversity’ is being defined today. Wikipedia describes it as “Gender diversity is equitable or fair representation between genders. Gender diversity most commonly refers to an equitable ratio of men and women, but may also include non-binary gender categories.” The concept focuses on the numeric aspect of the “balance” that every organization is striving to achieve today.

Yet, the problem lies beyond numbers. Many popular studies suggest that the percentage of women rising to senior management in most organizations decline drastically. A study by World Economic Forum claims that 29% of working women in Asia drop out of work between junior and mid-level positions.

Then, why the focus on the numbers recruited? All it does is, gets organisations into a vicious circle of targeted hiring to fill the gaps created by and to plan for attrition.

And attrition comes at a cost- which is not just financial. The repercussions are lasting.

Hence, a number driven approach is, in my opinion is incomplete. A systematic approach is needed to achieve gender diversity within the organizations.

The focus needs to be towards creating an ecosystem that understands and supports diversity. It is a way of working that is inclusive and supports the needs of a diverse set of employees. The ecosystem transcends across  the vision, to the policies and processes, to leadership and to the infrastructure. And to build a sustainable ecosystem, It is critical to understand the root cause for the imbalance and the solutioning becomes simpler with greater and sustainable impact.

As perfectly put by Theresa J. Whitmarsh, Executive Director of the Washington State Investment Board at the annual meeting of World Economic Forum- “If you exclude 50% of the talent pool, it’s no wonder you find yourself in a war for talent.”

Author: Sonica Aron

You can also read the article here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/exploring-gender-diversity-beyond-numbers-sonica-aron/

Sonica, I have a problem she said… I have an employee who was on maternity leave for almost half the year. She has not done more than half the things she was supposed to do. How do I rate her on her performance? This was my old coachee working in a well-known durables organisation.

But, the things she did, did she do them well? I asked.
Yes, she exceeded them. If those were her only KRAs, it would be the top rating. But the things she couldn’t do, there were others who pitched for the departments KRAs and they also will need recognition. I need to fit people in the bell curve and who do I put where?
If there were no constraints what would you do, I asked? …

This conundrum is faced by most managers whose female employees go on maternity leave. Choices made here are critical. The impact is lasting on the individual, the team and the organisation.

This never ending loop is due to inevitable conflicts between the personal and professional life stages of an employee, and a lack of understanding and sensitivity around life stages. It’s not just about early stages of marriage or maternity, the conflict comes up when a partner/spouse needs to relocate, class X and XII exams, parental illness etc. The social conditioning of over thousands of years usually rests most of these responsibilities on the shoulders of women, and therein lies the issue.

For the individual, the way an organisation treats her, at such crucial moments and life stages, would have a strong impact on her long term view on the organisation and continuity. If not handled consistently, for the team, there can be potential disgruntlement, wink-wink nod-nod banter on ‘wish we were diversity’ from male colleagues. And the organisation puts its culture on risk with the decisions made at these points of time.

The result is an incorrect diversity ratio, reluctance about hiring women employees, forced diversity hiring decisions and unspoken elements in the interpersonal relationship amongst members across the organization.

Yet, many organisations don’t recognize this issue and don’t deal with it systemically.

What is needed is a wholistic approach, encompassing policies and processes, that enable individuals to navigate through life stages, without having to compromise on professional goals and aspirations.

These then need to be communicated in a tone that is well received across both genders. When populated with the buy-in and alignment of senior leaders and managers it slowly becomes a part of the ‘ethos’ of the organisation. It enables all managers to take calls that help build an inclusive culture and associates understand, appreciate and develop a sense of responsibility and respect towards the proactivity.

A woman’s career need not devolve into a forced choice of “Career vs personal life”. A systemic approach can help minimise the impact of life stages on careers.
You can also read the article here:

Author: Sonica Aron

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/building-organisation-supports-diversity-needs-holistic-sonica-aron/